I thought I'd be a terrible mother

I never planned to be a mom. (Never, ever make plans like that. The universe laughs at you & proceeds to thwart your plans, usually in spectacular fashion.) I think I didn't plan on it because deep down, I was afraid that I would be a terrible mother.

I had a small laundry list of reasons why I thought I would be a terrible parent. I'm deeply flawed & selfish. Patience is NOT my strong suit. I'm a control freak. I have low pain tolerance, so there's no way I could make it through labor without mentally breaking. I have a weak stomach, so I'd puke all over the baby when changing a poopy diaper. I'm clumsy, I might drop & hurt the baby. Etcetera and so forth.

I'm still deeply flawed, but much less selfish now that I have a life depending on me. Nothing builds patience like a child! (You know the old joke about praying for patience.) I'm still a control freak, but I am getting better about choosing my battles now.

I made it through labor with out a drop of pain medication (though lack of Tylenol was due to it slipping my mind that I could take it, not a conscious choice.) And I've never felt more like a strong, powerful woman than I did after having Serenity. (I am mother, hear me ROAR!)

And for other weak-stomached mothers-to-be, something incredible happens when you have a baby of your own. All those things that your friends' children do that make you gag and wretch? When your baby does them, you won't bat an eyelash. The only reason I went running for the bathroom after the first diaper explosion was because nothing short of a bath was going to clean that mess up! I still have a weak stomach, it just seems to be immune to the bodily functions of my child. (whew!)

I'm still clumsy and accident prone. But then again, so was my dad, and I've survived to adulthood, so there's hope for Serenity. I just have to remember to keep her away from the power tools for a good long time, just in case she inherits my, and her PopPop's, “grace”.