I'm now 3 months into being a first
time mom. Over the months of pregnancy I ran across a few pregnancy
related issues that NOBODY seems to talk about to non-pregnant women.
All the pregnant women I've come across in my life talk about the
morning sickness, the baby using your bladder as a trampoline, labor
pains, post-baby lack of sleep, etc. Then, there are those women
that gush “Being pregnant was the best thing in my life. I felt
wonderful!” (And any woman who has ever had even the slightest bit
of morning sickness, or other pregnancy related issues that left them
feeling less than wonderful want to smash in the faces of those
gushy, feel-good women!)
But then there are the aspects of
pregnancy that you don't hear about until after you get pregnant,
start experiencing them, and start asking “Is this normal?!?!?”
And of course, your wiser, more experienced friends will assure you,
yes it's normal. And you begin to think that all women who have been
pregnant and have kept this information to themselves must be closet
sadists, because surely nobody who has experienced this would willing
to want to do it again, nor wish it on a friend, right?
So, starting chronologically with
symptoms I experienced, here goes my “List of things that may
happen to you when you're pregnant that nobody tells you about BEFORE
you get pregnant.”
#1 – Changes in your boobs
This is one of the first things that I noticed
that made me think “Hmm...I wonder if I'm pregnant.” All those
hormones flowing through your body will typically do a couple
noticeable things to your boobs in pretty short order after you get
pregnant.
First, my boobs HURT! If you've ever
experienced hormonal boob ache right before you get your period, you
have a tiny idea what I'm talking about. My whole boob ached, was
tender & sore, but the most sensitive area, nipples, caused pain
beyond imagination if I wasn’t careful putting my bra on in the
morning. And accidentally rolling over onto my stomach while trying
to get comfortable enough to go to sleep made me want to curl up
into a fetal position and cry. Fortunately, as my body got
acclimated to the flood of hormones, the pain eventually subsided and
I didn't have to act like my boobs were made out of eggshells every
time I put on my bra!
Second, my boobs grew. A lot.
This is, of course, the body preparing to produce sustenance for
your unborn child. That's no surprise. The surprise is how FAST it
happens. I think gained an entire cup size seemingly overnight. And
with that size gain, my boobs also felt like they weighed a TON.
Third, my boobs began to look
different. Not just size wise. As a woman's body makes more blood
for baby, she gets veiny, and it shows best, you guessed it, on the
boobs. Also, all those fun little hormones also bring changes to the
nipples &
areola,
making them darker and larger.
#2 – Morning Sickness.
What, you may be asking? People talk
about morning sickness all the time! Of course they do. What they
don't do is explain the difference between morning sickness and, say,
the stomach flu, which up to this point is the closest experience I
had to morning sickness.
My morning sickness resembled the
stomach flu in 1 way. I felt nauseous & threw up. If it's the
stomach flu, at best you'll feel better in a couple hours, at worst
you'll feel better in a few days. With morning sickness (the name
itself is misleading) if you're lucky will pass in a couple MONTHS,
if you're unlucky will last through the majority of your pregnancy
(like one unfortunate lady I know). Don't be fooled. Morning
sickness doesn't just strike in the morning. For me, like many
women, a more apt description was
“All-day-OMG-I'm-Going-to-Die-from-vomiting sickness”.
Everything & nothing at all can trigger nausea. Certain smells,
or foods, or, if you're really “lucky” just slight movement of
your body can trigger the complete emptying of your stomach. For a
short period during my bout with morning sickness, I could not drink
plain water without immediately getting sick and for the entire 1st
trimester, eggs were no bueno. I had to steer a wide berth around the
meat department at my local grocery store because the smell of fish
made me sooooo sick.
#3 – The “Super Sniffer”
There's a scientific explanation, but I
won't bore you with it. Simply put, when you're pregnant,
everything, and I mean EVERTYTHING, smells more. You will
think you've obtained the world's most useless superpower; super
smell. And usually you will start gaining this “superpower”
during the time you are battling with morning sickness.
So that dude that bathes in cologne
will make you wretch, your favorite foods will smell so strongly you
may not be able to stand to eat them for a while, and you'll want to
murder your significant other every time they fart. Best of all*,
you'll start to smell...yourself. “Since when have my armpits
smelled this bad, AFTER deodorant?” Or, even better, as you go to
the bathroom “Ugh, my hoohah STINKS! Have it always smelled this
bad? How can nobody else smell this? Ick!!”
*this is complete sarcasm, FYI
#4 – Stretching Ligaments
I first noticed ligament stretches in
the form of pain in my abdomen. The first time it happened was
frightening! It typically happens when you move, and the ligament
stretches to make room for baby. Usually the pain doesn't last for
long, and you do get used to it, but it can be scary the first time
it happens if you don't know to expect it.
The other way you may notice stretching
ligaments is in your feet. Ligament stretching is caused by those
pesky little hormones, again. The hormones make your ligaments a
little softer, so they stretch better to make room for baby. This is
all well and good in your abdomen, where baby is. Unfortunately,
hormones don't just target those ligaments. They affect ALL your
ligaments. This is why a pregnant woman should not lift too much
weight. Softened ligaments mean you are much more likely to injure
your back than you would normally. Also, soft ligaments + weight on
feet = growing feet, and the possibility of fallen arches. So more
than likely you can kiss all your cute shoes good bye, because
they'll never fit again...
#5 – Hair, Hair EVERYWHERE
You may have heard that prenatal
vitamins are GREAT for your hair and nails. It's true, they are.
But between the hormones raging through your body and the prenatal
vitamins you will notice that it's not just your nails and the hair
on your head that grows great. Leg hair and armpit hair grows at an
astounding rate, and you will end up with thick, lush hair in places
you NEVER wanted it on your body. If you're lucky, you'll just end
up with a hairy butt. That's easy to hide. If you're unlucky,
you'll end up with a hairy face. Much harder to deal with!
#6 – Random Disgusting bodily
functions
Pregnancy is amazing. A completely new
human life is growing inside of you. Pregnancy is also gross. Your
body will involuntarily do things that are disgusting and/or
embarrassing.
You will be gassy. The bigger the baby
grows, the less room there is, and you'll find yourself releasing gas
in the usual ways, only more frequently. And probably louder. You
won't just burp. You'll belch. And if you have those certain special
kind of friends (like I do), you'll garner applause. Your flatulence
will be more frequent and inopportune. Move a certain way, or cough,
or sneeze, and you may feel like you're trying to blow a hole in your
pants.
Which brings another potentially
embarrassing bodily function to mind. The more pregnant you get, the
more coughs & sneezes frighten you. Because gas may not be the
only thing to come out. There is a distinct possibility that you may
pee your pants! Especially if your baby is going through a phase
where they decide that right on top your bladder makes a FANTASTIC
place to sleep.
If that isn't bad enough, at some point
during your pregnancy you will battle with constipation. All the
hormonal changes in your body affect the intestinal tract, making it
easier to get backed up. That, plus room in your abdomen shrinking,
can equal a very difficult time in the bathroom if you don't make
fiber your friend!
#7 – Bloody noses
This is another fun thing caused by the
extra blood & veins the body makes during pregnancy. Extra blood
vessels grow in the nose, some of them too close to the nasal
membrane, and next thing you know, bloody nose.
I'm one of those unlucky people who
gets nosebleeds when my nose gets too dry. Usually it just makes me
feel like I have a stuffy nose, instead of being like the
stereotypical nosebleed where blood runs out your nose and down your
face. However, being pregnant during the time I typically get my
nosebleeds (winter) meant that I actually did have to deal with the
stereotypical nosebleed. There were mornings where I woke up tasting
blood because it ran down the back of my nose & down my throat.
Which I suppose was better than waking up with blood all over my
pillow & face. I just had to take the “wins” where they
came, no matter how small.
#8 – Crazy, vivid dreams
Hormones, again, mess with the
pregnant. Not only do hormones affect you physically, they affect
you mentally. I never dreamed that I gave birth to a litter of
kittens, like my mom did during one of her pregnancies, but I did
dream I gave birth in an 1950's style hospital and that all the
well-wishers from church who were visiting were annoying me to the
point that I swore at them to get them to leave. And that's the most
normal of the dreams I had. And each & every one felt entirely
real while I was having them.
#9 – Itchy Belly & Boobs
I'm one of those unlucky people who has
dry itchy winter skin, and that, combined with being pregnant meant
the areas of my body that were growing exponentially, namely my belly
& boobs, itched like CRAZY! And it typically got bad in
situations where scratching would be socially unacceptable. Like at
work. Doesn't matter that you're pregnant; you scratch your belly or
boobs in public, you will generate stares!
#10 – Memory Loss & General
“Dumbness”
While I've never had a fantastic
memory, being pregnant wiped any semblance remembrance out of my
life. If it weren't for my husband and writing notes & lists, I
would have never got anything done, ever.
It was seriously so bad that if my head
weren't attached to my body, I would've forgotten it. I was
constantly losing or misplacing keys, cell phone, shoes.
Fortunately, it got better after my baby was born!
#11 – Pelvic & Hip pain
As my pregnancy neared an end and my
baby moved into the proper position for coming into the world things
got very uncomfortable for me. My pelvis began to ache pretty much
constantly, along with the occasional shooting pain as her head
pressed into my bones. Soft ligaments, added weight and baby in my
pelvis made my hips hurt. There were times where it felt like my
legs would pop off at the hips like a broken Barbie doll, especially
in the last couple weeks before I went into labor.
There you go! A small, kind of personalized to me (sorry!) list of the things you never hear about pregnancy BEFORE you get pregnant.
