The lingering fear of "What if"

Most of the time shared photo memes on Facebook fall into one of 4 categories for me.  1) Annoying political stuff. 2) Annoying gushy, feel-good stuff.  3) Annoying stupid, juvenile stuff.  4) Stuff that is actually pretty funny that I may or may not share.

But every once in a while someone posts something that, while it may not apply directly to me, breaks my heart a little.  This morning was one of those times.

When I checked Facebook for the first time this morning two of my best friends in the world shared stuff that simultaneously made me heartbroken for them and grateful that my circumstances were not the same.

Their posts about heartbreak that made me tear up at 7AM are related to this image...

So many people in my life have unfortunately gone through the tragedy of the loss of a child before they had a chance to hold their baby and tell him or her that they were loved more than anything else in the world.  And I can't relate. I can't begin to understand what it must be like to lose a baby. I hope that I haven't done or said anything thoughtless because of that.

I get to hold my beautiful baby girl and tell her she's the greatest thing that's ever happened in my life.  I just have the lingering fear of the "what if's" that plagued me during my pregnancy that all can be summed up in one phrase.  "What if something goes wrong?"  I have a feeling that while the particulars of those fears will change over her lifetime, the question of "what if something goes wrong" will haunt me as long as I'm alive.